Tuesday, October 25, 2005

there are my blog entries i wrote when my computer (it still is) fucked and my dad cancelled my internet




thursday 13/10 mood:pissed and holding a knife; : well. today was okay i guess. exams were fine - me, nat n' gelina studied together, but some retards *you know who you are* brought their handphones into the exam room and we had to start D.T early so we couldnt have 'xtra time to study - which pissed me off. F'ckin hell. IM PISSED AT BIANCA. (i edited this bit in case you read it biaz, but dont think about it i was just moody that day.. ) Anyway so since we started early we finished early, and we wanted to go home earlier. so i called my mom and Ms Sharon said that i could go home. but guess what? fuckin' teachers - always twist things around. to cut it short it ended up that my brother and i had to wait and my mom had driven around the school twice and parked a block away and had to walk n get us. so i get shit from her about that. which pissed me off. Then i get home and i want to go online to just blog n vent it all out but no - my mom said no cuz my dad said no. so that pissed me off. i was gonna scream so .. i just went out for a walk with my dog for an hour and just cooled off for a while. Nice n windy i guess. loadsa' trees at the park where i just sat on the swing to think.. my dog is cute. then i found some seeds n took 'em cuz i like the plant. (: well then i went home and guess what i get?? a bitch from M.O.M who says she was looking for me all over. oh since when man. "i thought you were dead" goes my brother"yeah if only" i just say to myself.M.O.M was on the phone so she's like "here, your dad wants to talk to you"and i'm like ok and then my dad tells me that he's cancelled our internet for 2 weeks 'till exams are over. 'n i was like why? and he just goes bla bla squeak squeak i didnt hear the rest cuz the seeds were in my hand and so was the phone - so it slipped out 'n scattered across the floor. but thats not what pissed me off ok. My m.o.m has to go and bitch and say i did it on purpose. w/e. i try not to listen - its just bullshit. and kim told me i should ignore her. yeah right, ignore her insults, ignore her accusations, ignore her threats?? i don't think i can anymore . she hurts me so bad.. but what really pissed me off.. when i called my dad back to say sorry cuz it hung up by accident he's like. "did you do it on purpose?"
what the fuck man.
sure dad i dropped the phone on purpose to hang up on you, sure i slammed my finger in the door just to skip my lesson, sure i lost your precious little phone shit and you blame me and make me late for school which i got in shit for and fuckin' embarassed myself- and that's whyi went out and didn't come back home for a day cuz i was pissed at you and just wanted to get away - but i didn't say anything. i just quietly asked why do you all think i do all the wrong things on purpose..?oh 'cuz "you're not family-like"...and that pissed me off...after our stupid conversation i hung up and went to get my handphone upstairs and my mom yells and tells me to eat-lunch-where-are-you-going-!? and that pissed me off. I WAS JUST GONNA GET MY FREAKIN' PHONE. GOT A PROBLEM?? i don't wanna do bad things on purpose ok. i'm not someone who goes around and rebels or talks back on purpose. And i missed music by accident - wasnt looking at the time -_- mom got angry - and that pissed me off.but imma change now cuz i'm sick of being quiet when someone pisses me off and giving in and being a pushover. - i cut myself todayto see if i still feel.. -
out ;





Friday 14/10mood:happy-fakeish; :AHA OMG the math test today was SO freakin easy. But i'm scared the next paper is gonna be hard. omg. =(. i have to start studying geograpyhy NOW and i am SOoooooooooooooooo Scared about it. Ms Helena (tha witcH - only i'm not saying witch, but under the circumstances you wouldnt blame me((BITCH))) is testing us on the whole fckin book -_- omg. and you dont know how thick the damn book is. i feel sorry for IGCSE 1. sigh. iono wtf bioderadea rfaief aoih shiz is. iono margin plate or w/e it is. I JUST DUNNO - AND I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON STUDYING WHEN I KEEP THINKING ABOUT ..................................................... . aiyaaaa =(i want my internet........i wanna dl songs......i wanna talk to JING.......... i wanna talk to ED.......i wnna talk to SHANE.......i wanna talk to kimmmmmmm................ shibal~~ =(sigh. bracelets are handy - go figure.i've been listening to Amy Diamond's Another Day for like 3 days straight now. it's so sad sigh and its the opening song when u go on my blog. i think. i remeber till i get my ineternet back. well today we played bball in the rain so it was fun. Byung still isnt talking to me - won't even pass me the ball =(. wth is wrong wit you man. you go around telling other ppl tht break up their friendships to say sorry and bla bla bla just a little thing and here you are ignoring me fo' the same reasons.. iono whatchu want from me.sigh. 16hours till the exam paper. *Stresses*and i'm so freaked out. about the paper. when i'm stressed out i eat a lot. and a lot for me is.. A LOT. i guess i eat a lot without the stress but with the xtra ? i eat like a hoe. pft i need to go train n run again tomorrow. musssssst.. or imma be fat n ugly. not that i'm not ugly already. i just keep saying im not to comfort myself.ok well i can't think of anything to say that anybody would be remotely interested in.Heres one of mah facourite songs
Simon webbe : Lay your hands.
sometimes life can be a burden
tryin' to stay one step ahead
i feel the world upon my shoulder each time
i'm standing out on the edge
my hopes have all deserted me
like theyre washed away in the sand
and its hurtin my pride tryin to survive but i kno that i stand a chance
when you lay your hands oh yeah
cuz its the only thing i have that still makes sense

chorus
oh baby when i'm callin out
gimme love and affectionkeep tellin me, showing me the way
oh if you see me fallin' down
lift me up from the shadows will you take me away to a better placeand
when i'm in my darkest hour
be by my side to turn the tide until the sufferin fades
when life is gettin me down, gettin me down
i'm close to defeat
come and lay your hands on me

feel this road is gettin longer now
and im too far away from home
still i gotta keep on moving on
but i cant do it on my own
baby keep my head above water
help me swim for my life
cuz the game is gettin harder
the strain is gettin stronger
and i can only face the fight
when you lay your hands oh yeah
cuz its the only thing i have that still makes sense

chorus

till im healed again
rediscovered my strengths
those bitter blues are goneall gone
chorus
out;


Thursday 20/10 mood:dangerous; : my comp is fucked up =(Ive had. a bad day. and only kim was the one the whole day besides jing to listen to all my complaining and bitching and nagging n endless talking the whole day. aha. sigh.
byung ur an asshole. big time.in your facetake ityou wanted it this wayhere it is
natasha ur annoying.
Ms S, i'm sorry you are stuck with a guy that you met in the 8th grade and married him and ur still with him - but dont take it out on me again. ever.
Hely , fuck off. please. i seriously. beg u.
am i mean. i dont care. i dont care anymore. really. i piss u off, not my problem. im your problem, i dont care. you wanna be my problem go ahead. it doesnt MATTER. im not gonna SEE you guys in like 3 years time?? always getting pissed at small things. lame idiots. i say shut up and you ignore/talk behind my back/bitch - -_- u take things so seriously.ugh i dunno what im saying anymore. how many times have i said something and not done anythign about it.i'm all talk, i guess.sigh i want kim.
out;




Tuesday 25/wo mood:okay; : i'm gonna get my hair highlighted tomorrow. *screams* lol. kim is/was gonna go with me? but today she goin to do herself so .. i guess i'll just go with biaz n ha eun tomorrow. well. i read other entries. i sound so bitchy/conceited . LALA I DONT CARE =D . i'm bored. stupid checkpoint sux. HAHHA oh yeh, ANDY is SHOOO HAWTTTTT in picturesssss *omgs* . me biaz hy n nd (aka mish bianca ha eun andy) went on a phototaking spree. well i havent really updated cuz ever snce i got my internet back, my computer got a major case of fuck up and i cant access loads of webpages (no more porn *sighs*) . we were taking photos and suddenly MDM ARMSTRONG bursts in on us yelling GRADE 8! GRADE 8! ya di da they already started the damn exammmmm!! lol well i always finish fast cuz im so hot etc etc etc . ok imma watch FINAL FANTASY APWORJAOFALNF ITS SO GOODmwahs.
*joking about the porn
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maybe. [*smiles*]

-mish
3:33 PM